Maybe You Lost Her to Another
by LoveAlwaysKaity
Summary: Because it's been weeks and all there's been is radio silence.
1. Chapter 1

MAYBE YOU LOST HER TO ANOTHER  
CHAPTER ONE

* * *

She told him not to tell anyone that she was actually the reason that he came back to glee club. No one really questioned him on his contradictory actions, when he said that he was going to quit and then miraculously appeared in his rightful seat the next meeting. They probably just thought that his anger was in a different place now; Unique and him were on rocky terms but he didn't hate her. So he held this hidden secret of theirs, with the full intent of taking it to the grave because it made her happy.

So he didn't talk about how she took it upon herself to find out that he laid awake in bed most nights and that was when she came to him after they'd won regionals. She had laid down next to him, her skin of her arms hot and smooth against his bare chest and told him quietly _We need you Ryder_. _I need you_.

Then it was just silence between them the comfortable kind as her ear was pressed against his steady heart. His hand had crawled up and down her spine, descending the ladder made from bones just under her skin before climbing it again. She fell asleep right there, on top of him, and he stayed up looking at her. Those last three words she had told him on repeat in his mind. For once she looked so peaceful, locked away in her dreams.

He knew it was an overused cliché but she really did look incredibly beautiful.

But it seemed maybe that was the end of everything because somehow after that he could barely believe that she had actually started to like him.

Because it's been weeks and all there's been is radio silence.

* * *

He's not really sure how he managed to be the first one to Glee club that day but he was. Of course he was leaning against the wall, exhaustion creeping in his bones from his lack of sleep, his eyes just barely open. He doesn't try to open them wider because he's looking at the door waiting for her to come in just so he can look at her.

Maybe even capture her attention.

She's in her cheerio's uniform as always, both of her hands on her backpack straps and that sadistic smirk on her face. Just like always he feels his heart start to swell and he begins to picture her lying against his heart and how he fell asleep holding her. There's this reoccurring flame of hope burning within him that she'll sit down next to him and actually talk to him.

But of course she doesn't.

Instead she sits in front of him, doodling in her notebook, pretending that he wasn't even there.

Pretending like nothing ever happened.

It was his fault though and somewhere deep inside of him he knew that.

Because Ryder Lynn had not only rejected her for an online fantasy, he also hadn't called her since he had woken up with a note where her body had once been asking him to keep what had happened in his room and nowhere else.

It was like he was looking for another sign, one that would tell him that she did in fact still have some feelings…so he wouldn't have to put himself out there and be rejected or disappointed like he was over and over again.

Not that he would admit any of that.

Somewhere between the time where Kitty had walked in and the end of his inner monologue, he zoned back in to hear that this week's assignment was the Beatles. His lips twitched up in a half smile and he jumped up and down a little in his seat. He could only shake his head just a little bit when Kitty expectedly insulted one of the most iconic bands in music history, if not the most iconic.

"Yeah, I can definitely still relate." He jumped in right after she had finished. When she turned around and actually looked at him. A victorious smile crossed his face as he gazed into those green eyes of hers.

"Why were the Beatles dyslexic and catfished by transsexuals?" Her brow just barely raised and he could only feel a bit agitated. Not only did her comment hit a nerve but after _everything_ she really was just going to act like it was some sort of dream he concocted in his mind.

They hadn't spoken in weeks and now…now she was treating him like he was just another person in her way at this school. He had thought that even if she insulted him that there would be some look in her eyes. A look that told him that she didn't mean it and that she cared about him, but instead he just got that same look she gave everyone; an icy blank glare that held absolutely nothing.

He didn't understand why he had expected something any different.

She turned back around before he could conjure up some comment of his own, so instead he just flicked her ponytail. It feels just as silky as it did that night and as it did when he had hugged her outside of Breadstix after she had confessed to him that he wasn't alone. She runs her hand over it several times before she goes back to doodling in her notebook. He can't help but wonder if she remembers the memories she shared or if she was just genuinely worried about her already pristine curled hair.

They get dismissed and he's first out the door. He waits just outside with the full intention of stopping her when she came out but he never got the chance. He peeked his head in to see her smiling down at Artie and hopping onto his lap so he could wheel her out.

He wasn't really sure it why it bothered him as much as it did when walked away with his head hung low.

* * *

Bumper cars were always his favorite as a little kid and even know when he was almost two years from graduating high school he still loved them.

In fact he really just liked carnivals.

It was probably the first night in a while where he wasn't thinking about Kitty. He was just back to being a little kid, playing all the games and hopefully getting the highest score. In bumper cars it was all about not getting bumped all that much while you tormented other people.

And he didn't want to brag but he was pretty sure he dominated everyone in the glee club, until he realized at the very end that Kitty was riding with Artie.

They had bumped into him and he had just sat there in the car, staring at them his mouth agape. Jealously boiled his blood and he was angry that he couldn't be _that_ guy. The one she was leaning against, smiling at, and laughing with. And usually Ryder Lynn was angry with the girl who had broken his heart but this time he couldn't be.

Because he had been the one who had done the rejecting. He had been the one to blow the one—two if you count the night of regionals—chance he had with Kitty.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that Marley and Unique, Jake, and then Sam all bumped into him simultaneously. He was jolted back into reality with one cold hard slap in the face.

It was _his _fault that he didn't get to be the guy who made her happy.

He called the night quits when he saw her carrying a stuffed animal that she had won, or maybe it was Artie, he honestly didn't know.

All he knew was that an arrow had pierced his heart and it _hurt_.

* * *

He had distanced himself from all things Kitty Wilde after the carnival. His thoughts were already plagued with her golden hair, emerald eyes, and smooth skin. It's the hardest thing to do in glee club, so that's why he was leaning against the piano, as he moved back in forth in the rolly chair. He's done a pretty good job of not paying attention at all until Tina announces that Kitty's been secretly seeing Artie.

It wasn't that he didn't see it coming, because he did, but just hearing it confirmed…

All he could really comprehend was the feeling of his heart plummeting a thousand miles in his chest.

Like, he was pretty sure if he looked down at the floor it would be lying there broken in half.

"…I wanted to be sure." Kitty admitted and he closed his eyes, his jaw clenching just barely.

"Of what?" Marley chimed in and he really wished that she hadn't asked that.

"That I really, really liked him." Kitty explained. "And that I would be willing to risk not just my social standing but also getting hurt. By letting him wheel into my heart. And even though he's getting ready to graduate and we're probably just as doomed as every other sad, broken backwards relationship that's ever started in this Jesus and love forsaken choir room. But I do like you Artie, you make me laugh. And not just because of those stupid Youtube videos you always show me."

Her words were all a blur and when he saw their hands coming together, he surely thought that he was going to be sick.

But of course that just couldn't be the end of her words. "Look, asking you to keep our stuff private wasn't cool. And I'm sorry." His eyes finally fluttered shut again and his leg had started to move up and down. His fists clenched at his side and he knew that this envy he was feeling was wrong. Because he was happy that she seemed happy…he just wished it wasn't Artie. He just wished that it was him who got to make her feel like she was a queen. Not to mention anyone could see him and call him out but that was far too unlikely because everyone was watching this brand new couple blossom right here.

Right in the middle of the McKinley Choir room.

"It's okay, Kitty. But, um, like—as far as updating my Facebook status—" Artie started but of course Kitty interrupted.

"Yes. We are officially, publicly, shockingly, a _thing_."

He didn't have to open his eyes to know that she had reached for his face and sealed their fate with a kiss. The applause that busted out of the room said it all.

_Sign, sealed, and delivered_.

Standing up, he opened his eyes when his back was towards the happy couple and just like that he walked out.

No one noticed and he breathed a heavy sigh of relief when sunk against the wall, the next hallway over.

* * *

The next time he really sees her, since he's been avoiding the shit out of her, is when he's singing _I Saw Her Standing There_ for Tina. His eyes were closed as he played the drums, letting the music flow through him as he sang into the microphone. He had been looking at Tina the whole time because this was for her but when he opened his eyes again, he somehow didn't see brown eyes but rather green ones.

He moved his arms and feet as he played but the music was a million miles away. All he could focus on was how she was smiling at him. He couldn't help but think that she could be standing by her boyfriend who was only a few feet away. She could be swaying, smiling, and clapping all while looking into Artie's eyes but instead she was standing in front of him.

She was looking directly at him.

Anguish swirled within him. That undying flame of hope flickered along with anger and sadness swirling in the smoke above it.

He closed his eyes again, bobbing his head to the beat, as if to portray that he was suffocating in the music when really he was just suffocating in Kitty Wilde for the millionth time.

Before he could really comprehend it the song was over and he watched her slowly linger at the edge of the stage before walking back over to Artie and sitting in his lap.

He closed his eyes and then opened them to look at Tina since it was time for her to pick her prom date. He just tapped his drumsticks on his hand when she picked Sam and he was okay with that. It would have been awesome to go with someone like Tina to prom but at this point he wasn't even sure if he was going to go.

As of now, there was a high chance he'd make it into one of his endless nights wishing Kitty would come back through his window and lay down next to him one last time.

* * *

**A/N**: Basically this is just going to be a collection of one-shots after each episode with Kyder mixed in. I just have a lot of feelings and it's not like we know Ryder's reaction to anything so this is my headcanon. Soon to be headcanons. I am not sure if I'll do one for every episode but I'm going to try.


	2. Chapter 2

MAYBE YOU LOST HER TO ANOHTER  
CHAPTER TWO

* * *

He forced himself not to look at the two of them, as they sat down right in front of him. It was harder than he made it seem. Though his eyes were glued straight ahead towards the front of the classroom he was tapping his foot quite impatiently. His face may be blank canvas when it came to showing any signs of discomfort but he was never a master of deception. So he had to try his damn hardest not to look at the incredible view of her legs since, as always, that Cheerio skirt of hers was quite deadly. He also did his best not to look at the way the light made her hair glow. Ryder didn't have to look to know that it climbed down her back in its perfect spiral. It reminded him of a certain princess…

Fighting the urge to tip his eyes downward and bite his lip he shifted within his seat. There was only just a few seconds left until the bell rang—he knows this because the first thing he learns every school year is what time each class ends—so he just watched the small hand tick along the circle. There was only about two seconds left when he the intercom came on.

Honestly he had almost forgotten about prom. Until now.

Leaning back in his seat, he closed his eyes and just sneaked one tiny glance at her. When he closed his eyes he imagined that Artie wasn't sitting beside her. Instead there was an empty chair, waiting by her, beckoning him to gather up the courage and just say hello. It should be a simple task, if he's being honest. She had him at hello, so why shouldn't he have her at hello as well?

Life just wasn't that kind, he supposed.

When he hears _her _name being called out, his eyebrows furrow. She was a sophomore and there was a reason it was called junior and senior prom. Then again, this school was a little on the kooky side so who knows. He's not really surprised when Tina gets nominated and he can't help but jump in his seat in excitement for her.

Though he was sure of one thing, his vote was going to be for Kitty. Sure she had other years to run but he just had too. Once all was said and done he finally hopped out of his chair and walked towards the door. Kitty was in front of him, pushing Artie and that was finally when he watched the way her hair slide across her back. His eyes kept trailing further down and soon enough he was watching the way her hips moved as she walked. Ryder's breath hitched in his throat and he closed his eyes. He was in the hallway, crowded by the sea of people who attended McKinley when he finally thought of the golden-haired, lost princess, from one of Disney's greatest hits.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair…" He mumbled to himself; though he had the feeling if he ever said that to Kitty, he'd be getting smacked in the face with a frying pan.

* * *

He didn't really think much of it when it happened but the moment he saw the "Kitty Kitty Prom Prom" posters, he knew exactly who was behind it. And maybe back in the beginning of the year he would have just assumed it was Kitty turning back on her word but this time he knew better. He knew who was behind this sad manipulation of Kitty's head on someone else's body. Truth be told he had no idea whose body it was but he had memorized Kitty's well enough with his eyes and his fingers from their one night spent together, to know that it definitely wasn't hers. He thought it was bit insulting too because the blonde girl had a body to die for. Another tip off aside from the confrontation he had heard in the hall was the fact that he had a feeling Kitty would come up with something a little more…well, _creative_.

That Bree chick was behind it.

Feigning a puzzled face, he walked up to the other kids that had gathered around Kitty to gawk at the posters. His lips stayed in a fine line while a million words bottled up in his throat. This could be his moment; the moment where she would finally look at him since that night. The moment in which she could stop denying his existence because he was here for her dammit, and just because she wasn't his didn't mean that he wasn't hers. The brunette boy wanted to look back and say that he had pointed all the fatal flaws in what looked to be like Kitty's deceitful plan. However he didn't. He just stayed quiet and watched as Artie proclaimed just whose body her head was plastered on and then everyone walk away from her in disbelief. Everyone included him but he couldn't help but feel his own blood boil at the fact that her own boyfriend didn't even believe her.

Wasn't he the guy who was supposed to be spending all his time with her? The guy who should have been the one to stick up for her and not just let everyone tear her down? He knew the damn body she was _photoshopped_ on for Christ's sake! But he couldn't even stand up for his own girlfriend?! It made Ryder clench his fists, though it wasn't like he could be angry because he didn't do anything either.

And just like that he was reminded that it was his fault and that he had lost her before he even had her.

Slumping his shoulders he just took a deep breath and headed off to class. He'd make up for his mistakes, one day. Unfortunately that day was not today and it probably wouldn't appear for a long, long while.

* * *

It was Prom night and he was actually forced to go since he was performing. Honestly though as he sang the song he couldn't help but flash back to the first time he had ever sung in the school's gymnasium. This time wasn't much different from the Sadie Hawkins dance. In fact it was just the same. He was signing up in front everyone, watching everyone else dance with someone else while he was the single pringle around. Even though last time he had been signing a slower tempo song he was still participating in the same activity.

He was staring at one Kitty Wilde hopelessly and recklessly.

For a moment he's remembering her petite frame tucked into Puck's muscles. She was almost hidden in his embrace as they had swayed back and forth. His arms had swallowed her whole and honestly…he had just thought it to be so odd. In the beginning he had been looking at Marley and Jake. Just like now there had been a knot of jealously tightening in his stomach. He had wanted Marley back then but sometimes he had to wonder if it was the idea of her that he wanted because even then, when he thought that he had wanted to be with a blue-eyed beauty his eyes had drifted to the girl with golden hair and green, green eyes.

For a good portion of his solo he had swayed back and forth and wondered what it would be like to dance with her. It had baffled him back then because god was she a bitch. A cold hearted one at that. Ruthless might as well have been her middle name…was she even capable of something like love? He didn't know but it was perhaps in that moment, as the lyrics to _I Only Have Eyes For You_ poured out his mouth melodically, he wanted to find out for himself. Especially when he had saw her eyes turned down just a little bit with this sweet smile on her face.

He remembered the word beautiful popping up in his head just like it was now.

Earlier in the year she had been wearing some sort of purple but now she was wearing a bright pink dress. Her hair was curled over her shoulders and it was _so _hard not to look at her. It was like she was an angel in the middle of a dark room. He moved his body around as he sung, sneaking glances towards Unique, Jake, and Marley.

Everything was going off without a hitch really but he wanted nothing more than to run down to Kitty and…

Compliment her? Touch her? Better yet, kiss her?

He didn't know; he just wanted to be close to her.

As the last notes of the song rang out he just walked off the stage and exited out the side so he could change into his more suited attire. He got back in the gymnasium just in time to see the Prom Queen and King candidates exiting the stage. Tina had won. Instantly he lifted his hands up in the air and clapped as loud as he could. A huge smile was worn on his face and he was happy for her. She seemed to have really wanted it she was definitely rocking the dress she had chosen for tonight.

On cue however, his eyes had flickered to Kitty and he followed her eyes. He saw the bucket when it already too late because it had been tipped over and splashed the ground. He hadn't noticed that he had taken any steps forward to help Tina until he someone shoved him off balance and gave him an evil glare. He only had to turn his head to the side when he heard the first person laugh, Bree. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

And he had thought Kitty was a bitch when he met her.

* * *

They were all back in the choir room, the one constant safe haven they had for any shit that ever went down. Ryder just nodded his head along with everyone else as they all agreed to help Tina. Hell, if he had a dress of his own he would have leant it to her. She had won that spot fair and square and well, it didn't hurt if she walked back into the gym looking even hotter than before to show Bree whose boss.

A small smile crossed on her face when in the end Kitty had given up her dress. In his eyes it had proven her innocence that he had already been aware of for where her loyalties had lied. With a heavy breath he had leaned back in his seat as the girls got Tina ready, happy to have the chance to just close his eyes for a moment.

He needed a minute as well to compose himself.

It definitely had something to do with the thoughts floating around in his head that revolved around Kitty and her boyfriend was sitting only a few feet away. A deep breath fell from his lips and he wondered if the brunette boy had told her that she had looked beautiful tonight. He thought back to the Sadie Hawkins, it had only been a few months but she seemed so different, although still just as radiant.

When he opened his eyes Tina was wearing her Barbie-esque dress and she was in a plain t-shirt and sweatpants. It took him all but a second to realize that those were the exactly same clothes that she had worn when she had come to him in the middle of the night. His breath hitched in his throat and he felt a lump gather in his throat. He knew exactly what he wanted to do.

He wanted to scream at her, he wanted to walk straight up to her and take her face in both his hands, and then he just wanted to kiss her.

There was no denying it at this point.

Because he wouldn't deny that Kitty Wilde looked very attractive when she was all dolled up but when she just looked like every other normal teenager, or ever at her worst…well that was something else.

Summoning up a deep breath, he just stood up and readied himself to leave. It wasn't his job to do any of that. Standing up, he walked with everyone else back into the gym. For the rest of the night he danced with Unique, Tina, and then some of his buddies from the football team.

All thoughts of Kitty were kept far, far, far away. At least that's what he'd tell you.

* * *

He had to admit that if he was in some sort of delirious state he really hoped that the last thing he heard was Kitty signing. Her voice was smooth and elegant as she sang the lyrics to _Let It Be_ by the Beatles. Honestly though it was nearly impossible to pick a favorite song by the Beatles, this one probably was his favorite.

At first he just hummed underneath his breath and waited until it was his cue to walk out on stage and actually start singing. It didn't take long either because before he knew it, he was looking at the ground every so often so he wouldn't trip over his own feet. Ryder's gaze was trained on Mr. Schue as he executed everything to the best of his ability. It wasn't until he had to walk down a few steps and weave in and out of people did he find Kitty's eyes.

It seemed that this was the only time in which they would acknowledge at each other. A little ironic since she was the one who had said that this club had needed him. Little did he know that she always looked at him during songs, to remind herself that he did in fact stay with the club, with _her_. He was absolutely one-hundred percent oblivious to her thoughts of him.

A small smile crossed his face and he was taken aback for a moment when she smiled back. There was a spark in her eyes that made his heart do that stupid flipping thing it always did when he had a crush on someone; though it was safe to say that this was definitely a little more than _just a crush_. Slowly and softly he sang the song, only looking at her. Even when he had to turn around he made sure to do it quickly but not too quick, just so he could catch a glimpse of her.

He was just as satisfied as he was surprised when he found her meeting his eyes at the same time. They were looking for each other even though there were definitely someone else's eyes she should have been searching for.

In that moment as they took steps towards each other, he couldn't help but wonder if this was how it would always be. The only time they would ever acknowledge each other would be through what felt like distant melodies of the songs they were performing. It made sense however; she had asked him to come back to this…the music.

So what better was there to meet than the place where she had said she needed him? Where maybe, just maybe, she would always need him?

Turning to face the front, he took a deep breath as his eyes parted from her. The song was over and he felt his heart drop in his chest when she went over to Artie. But deep down inside there was this blistering hope, knowing that he'd see her again.

* * *

**A/N**: I used some personal headcanons from last season as well and also incorporated the smile from Let It Be, that of course we were robbed of. Enjoy and please don't forget to tell me what you think!


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